The Dying Art Of “Listening”…

Picture this – You are putting forth your point of view across to somebody and the person on the other side is all set to pounce on you with his/her preconceived opinion without giving a thought as to what you said and meant actually.

If only there were more training centers for teaching art of Listening than there are art of speaking… I sometime feel the actual art of active listening is a dying affair or it has strangely become a matter of ego to not let somebody talk and put forth his/her viewpoint without interference. We in today’s age are more concerned to voice our own opinion, making it up in our own mind, rather than giving an attentive ear to the other person.

Our own viewpoint has become more important than the other person’s point of view. It seems as if we are here to prove a point by bombarding with our personal preconceived views without giving any respect to the other person. We never think that this leads to lot of misinterpretation of the subject, conflict and in extreme cases even broken relationships.

 Loosing subtle signs of Expression

By not giving rapt attention to the person speaking we miss subtle expression of their face, a tear or twinkle of their eyes as well as their pauses or their sudden shift of subject as these things reveal a lot about them. We can gauge what embarrass them or irritates them, what drives them just by listening and giving importance to such signs.

                       

  Feeling of Belonging and Importance

 By giving the speaker full attention and absorbing everything he/she is saying, we not only understand the subject, their viewpoint but also let the other person feel important and respected. At times out of excitement of putting forth out opinion we even cut in between the other person’s space of expression, which breaks their chain of thought. This may also lead to loss of some vital points he/she is about to add to their viewpoint...Scenario is same while talking to spouse,friend, children,superior or anybody for that matter. 

  Better Bonding and Trust

If we listen attentively to what is being said, there will be no need of seeking clarification, we will gain lot of trust in the eyes of the speaker without him having to convey his point altogether again. The bonding with the other person increases by leaps and bound. In today’s day and age active listening is the most undervalued proportion of communication skill we have and is the reason for conflicts, broken and deflated relationships.

                        

 Hearing is not Listening  

At this point you must be thinking “I do listen what the other person is saying” ,the problem lies there itself.We,most of the times tend to Hear what is being said while subconsciously preparing ourselves to give an answer,there is a difference between Hearing and Listening-Hearing is when we take the other persons view point superficiously without imbibing the crux of what is being said where our full focus is on what we are going to present in reply whereas Listening is when you take the other persons viewpoint in your subconscious mind, feel the essence of what is being said,analyse it and then prepare to answer your opinion. The difference is like chalk and cheese although it looks the same.Its all about being mentally present in the moment.       

 Social Media – A culprit too..

The current scenario of constantly being on social media and having an opinion is also a culprit for this issue.We are fast picking on fights on this platform as no one wants to listen and everyone wants to thrust his/her opinion on the other.According to me,let us show some restrain here.  

Reader can be a (Good) Listener

The art of reading books is fast fading and it is harming in more then one ways.We don’t read much now, so we are not in a habit of being witness of other person’s story.Reading increases the person’s aptitude to be patiently witness the other person’s experience, culture, his opinion about world and society per se.

To conclude,Listening is rightly said “an art” which needs to be inculcated once again by one and all and also put into practice more often.  

   

                 Its time we….. STOP ARGUEING…START LISTENING!!